Back to School How-To

Hey there Sunshine!  It’s the middle of the night, going on the very early morning hours. I had a bizarro day (may have witnessed a very injured and mentally unstable young man steal a wheelchair and run away from a hospital ER), and that’s making my anxiety go through the roof tonight. When the Amazingly Awesome Boyfriend was heading off to bed, I had to sit up in front of the TV for a bit doing my deep breathing, because I was sure I was about to have a heart attack.

Oh well, hope your night is going much better!

This whole combination of bizarro situations and ridiculously high anxiety DID remind me that school is starting soon, though. I moved a month into high school to a whole new city, to a newly opened high school. Somehow, my parents thought that the fact that the school was new meant that no one there knew each other yet, so I should have no problem making friends. Had to finish my fifth and final year at a new school back in my hometown. After a few years off, went back to college, only to leave after only getting my one year certificate (instead of the 2-year diploma) due to an incident there. Years after that, went back to university as a “mature student” and spent more than 5 years working on my degrees, only to let anxiety get the best of me and not apply to graduate school.

So believe me when I say that I KNOW back to school anxiety.

The thing is, there are so many different things that can worsen your back to school anxiety: financial woes, social anxiety, moving to a new place, the unknown in general, education itself, fear of the future……….  I keep seeing these articles on how to handle your Back To School Anxiety, but they only have band-aid solutions to things.  Sure, lavender might help you relax, but will it help you save money on school supplies and textbooks? Eating lots of veggies is great for your all-around physical and mental health, but how will that help you meet people? Companion animals are great, but most dorm rooms don’t allow them.

So what’s a student to do?

Hopefully, I can shed a little light on that for ya’ll. I researched things back then for myself, and research them now for friends and roommates. I’m digging through my ancient external hard drive, stacks of old half-used notebooks (I dare you to find a troubled writer who doesn’t have at least half a dozen of these in their home), and my very large pile of Research I Printed To Read Later But Never Did. I’m combing Tumblr blogs (I’ll have links to a few that are super helpful), old PowerPoint presentations, and that forgotten “Stuff For My Blog” folder in my Bookmarks. Basically, I’m digging through all my shit to find that shit that works best for you.

So, I’ll try and pour as much of this anxiety-fuelled awakeness into my research for now. Hopefully, I’ll have some posts for you on this all this week, while you’re getting ready for Back to School.

 

Bullet Journals? WTH is That?

Ok, so I like to spend my breaks at work (and a lot of my free time at home) wandering the internet, and I wind up spending a lot of time reading things on BuzzFeed. What can I say, I’m a sucker finding 34 new easy and simple DIYs I can make out of things found in my bathroom.

Lately, though, they seem to have become obsessed with these Bullet Journals that everyone seems to be talking about. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out exactly what these things are.

I mean, I can see that they’re some sort of journal-sketchbook-day planner hybrid where you can keep track of your schedule with cutesy little doodles and charts letting you track your Vitamin D consumption and how many seconds you plank a day. It’s some sort of weird collection of to-do lists, to-read lists, to-watch lists, and pages upon pages of calendars and day logs.

Honestly, it looks so damn time consuming, it makes my head spin.

Seriously, I have a hard enough time trying to keep track of my life and stay motivated already. How is doodling little coffee cups and kittens into my day planner going to help me with any of that?

I admit, there are a few things I like about these damn things. But I can’t get behind the whole idea of it, and I hate half-assing things when I don’t have to. A part of me wants to dive right into these things, because they are just so damn pretty and cute. A big part of me, though, is resistant. I mean, I don’t want to have to invest so much into washi tape and gel pens that I can’t afford groceries. And I can’t draw or lay-out pages like all the examples I’ve seen online. Part of me is like, “Why bother? No matter what I like about these things, I could never make mine look like THAT!”

Still, there’s a few things about these damn journals that just really intrigue me. I know that things like a monthly list, a list of annual events and important dates, a long-term to-do list……. these are all things I’ve used in the past to keep me organized. In a journal like this, though? I just can’t seem to make it work.

I think I’m going to try, though.

For now, I’ve got a little composition book, and I’ve been trying out three things: A To-Do list broken into four categories (cleaning, personal, shopping/groceries, and writing); A Did-Do list (a list of things I accomplished throughout the day, like my work hours and what I did off my lists); and the Brain Dump. This page is basically just a random mish-mash of things that pop into my head that I don’t want to forget. I’ve got a bento-box sketch, Christmas gift ideas list, things I want for Christmas, things to remember to put on lists in the future……….

I’ve been doing this for a week now, and I’m liking it. I’m thinking about grabbing a little book today and starting a full bullet journal. You know, just a place to track goals, birthdays, work schedule…….. but then I remember I have a really nice day planner.

So what exactly is the point of these things? Do you have any idea how these work, Sunshine? It all seems like a great idea,  but I’m not sure if this is supposed to be in addition to a day planner, or if it takes the place of a day planner. I’m toying with the idea of playing around with these a bit.

Maybe I’ll read a few more posts on my break at work tonight, who knows.

 

 

It’s Impossible to Schedule!!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things I absolutely love about my job. I have a bunch of regular customers who are awesome-sauce. My co-workers (for the most part) are like family now. It’s close enough that I can walk there.

I just wish I had a real schedule!

Does anyone else out there have this problem?

Take today, for instance. Last week, I was scheduled for the 4:15-9:15 closing shift for tonight. Over the weekend, that shift was changed to 12-5. Last night, our assistant manager noticed that we only have two people working in the morning for an almost one dozen skid delivery, and my shift was changed to 9-2. Mind you, this change happened around 8:45 (when we close at 9pm). Then, while I was making my dinner after work last night around 9:45, the assistant manager texts me and changes my shift AGAIN to 9-5:30pm.

Even when I get my schedule, I can’t make any real plans. I had to remind my boss a dozen times that I couldn’t work last Wednesday morning (got a closing shift instead) because I finally got a doctor’s appointment and couldn’t cancel again. I’ve had to cancel plans so many times the last few months, because the schedule changes so often and I have no real control over it.

And this is the time of year when I pick up most of my hours. In the winter, it’s so dead that I’m lucky to get 4 hours a week sometimes. Right now, I’m doing 25-30 hours a week (which still isn’t ideal, but it’s something while I look for a permanent job). So if the schedule changes and I already have plans, I can’t just give up a shift to keep my plans. I can’t afford that at all right now.

And I’m on closing shifts almost exclusively. Today, I picked up a morning shift (which I love!!!!). Next week is all closings. The following week I get one 3-8 and the rest are closings: same with the week after that. I wouldn’t really care, except I’m up around 5am every day when the Amazingly Awesome Boyfriend has to get up for work. There are days when I’ve already put in a 12 hour day of writing, cleaning, running errands, moving furniture, job hunting, and then more cleaning before I even leave for work. And then, by the time I get home, I have maybe 45 minutes (if I can bum a ride home from a co-worker; otherwise, it’s more like 15 minutes) to make and eat dinner, have a glass of wine to relax, wash my face, brush my teeth, feed and pet the cat, clean up the kitchen at the end of the day, check my emails, make lunches for the next day, and get to bed so I can be up again bright and early the next morning. Weeks that I work just closing shifts, I’m lucky to get 4-5 hours sleep some nights, and then can’t fall back asleep in the morning to save my life.

So Sunshine, is your work schedule driving you crazy? Crazy enough that you can’t even blog properly because you never know when you’ll be home, so you wind up with a notebook full of ideas but no time to type them (I hear that’s common).

Drop me a line, leave a comment, tell me your scheduling nightmares. Let’s all share the miserym so it’s a little easier to get through!

Schedules and Work

Knowing how much I have to get done this week, I had planned on writing and scheduling a whole bunch of posts for the week, to act as filler when I’m too busy to write. I was going to sit at my desk all day, with my research and my notebooks, and do up a bunch of recipes and some much longer posts. Basically, I’d sit down and never get up. So, Saturday night I decided to have a few glasses of wine after the whole broken microwave fiasco.I figured that, if I was just going to be sitting at my desk all day, I could handle a hangover if I over-indulged a little bit.

Bad idea.

You see, on Friday evening, while I was starting my shift at work another co-worker was ending hers. While I was on my register ringing up a line of very chatty customers, she stood a few feet away in the office doorway, shouting questions to me. In order to work on Sundays, you have to sign up ahead of time and hope that no one with higher seniority gets one of the very few Sunday spots. There’s always the chance that someone could call in sick, or the schedule could change, so I sign up for it even if there are already three higher people signed up. So on Friday, my co-worker was yelling at me, asking if I had signed up for this Sunday. I said I did, but there were already three people working that day, and another person above me signed up too. I figured she was just asking to be sure, since we have had some issues with scheduling and availabilities lately.

Anyway, my Friday shift ends, and we all go home. Saturday, I get my phone fixed, pick up a few Christmas gift-basket things, and jump up and down with a bunch of kids in excitement in front of Santa’s Village (long story there, and I freakin love the holiday season). Come home, we have our microwave issue, and I try to teach grown-ups not to put plastic in the oven. After that, the wine started. Oh geez, did it ever start! I work surrounded by wine, and like to take my work home with me sometimes. I always have fixin’s for mixed drinks, more than enough to make a kick-ass Manhattan, and a small variety of both red and white wine, including a box of cheap white wine in the fridge. I may be poor, but I know how to buy when things are on sale and stock up on essentials! Anyway, I put a pretty good dent in that box of white wine on Saturday, waited up for the boyfriend to get home from a fraternity event and a birthday party, and wound up staying awake until after 4am.

On Sunday, just because my co-worker had asked about my availability on Friday, I work up somewhat early, with a hangover that could drop an elephant. I lounged around, waiting to see if I would get a call from work to come in, and I didn’t. About an hour before the store opened (11am), I laid back down for a nap with the kitten. Not two minutes after the store opened, I got a call from the co-worker who was there opening: apparently I had been put on the schedule for noon! I was supposed to be there right then!

So, with my hangover making it damn near impossible to move, I ran like hell for the bathroom. No time to wash my hair, I opted for pigtails and contact lenses. A little mascara and blush and about half a tonne of concealer (for the giant circles under my eyes), I was running out the door so the boyfriend could drop me off at work. Those 4 1/2 hours were pure hell. I had to wear sunglasses for part of my shift, I constantly felt like puking, and my head was pounding the entire time. And to make it worse, I missed both the Bears AND the Lions game!

I could go on, but I doubt you need to hear more about just how crappy I felt. The point it, no one has any idea when the schedule was changed. Usually, if there is a change to the schedule written in, then a manager has to initial them AND write in the date the change was made. That wasn’t done this time though. Someone just crossed out the co-worker’s shift and wrote in mine. One person is claiming it was done Friday night while I was still there. Another says it wasn’t done until Saturday morning.

The point here is to always double and triple check your schedule. If I had checked the schedule on Friday night before I left for the night, then I either would have known that I was working yesterday, or would have known for sure that the schedule had to have been on Saturday when I wasn’t there. I would either have known not to drink like I did on Saturday night, or I would’ve had a damn good argument for why I was 45 minutes late for my shift.

So always double check your schedules, whether it’s your schedule at work, or your syllabi for classes. It is so much better to find out fairly last minute about something (shift change, essay due, quiz) than to have to thrown in your face, as happened to me.  And be careful with the damn boxed wine! There is nothing worse than a cheap wine hangover, sunshine!

How To Choose Classes

Choosing your classes for the next semester is one of the biggest stresses and headaches you’ll have as a post-secondary student. Everyone has an opinion on what to take, your friends want to take classes with you, your advisor is telling you to take a whole other bunch of classes, and you’re torn between the “if I plan all 8am classes then I’ll HAVE to become a morning person” and “woo hoo, no classes until at least 1pm!”.

Now, I volunteered for the Academic Advising Office while I was in university. The advisers who were paid to be there (you know, the professionals) handled all of the truly hard things. They were the ones who talked to students who were worried they were going to flunk out of their program, or who wanted to change majors completely, or who were hoping to graduate soon and wanted to make sure they had all of the classes they needed all taken care of. We volunteers took care of the rest. Need to look at electives? Not sure which courses count as a Social Science and which ones are Arts? Just want someone to explain how to read your degree audit (or whatever your school calls the giant list of what classes you need to take to graduate)? That’s what we were there for.

I’m no expert when it comes to choosing classes (if I was,then I’d be one of the ones being paid to do that). But I did learn quite a few things back then that I can pass along to you now.

Figure Out What Your Required Courses Are

I know, this sounds stupid. I mean, everyone knows what classes are required, right? Well, no they don’t. The degree audit (or list) that everyone has to look over can be unbelievably confusing sometimes! For example, there are what seems like a billion rules you need to follow if you’re going to choose classes from my Alma Matter to count towards your Psychology degree. You can take 100-level (first year, mostly intro or elective courses) classes, which are usually pre-requisites for other courses (I’ll get into those next), but you can take 14. Now, that may seem like a lot. But if you need 2 Intro Psych, 2 Into Sociology, a few science courses, some arts courses, a language class or two….. these start to add up. I’ve known a lot of people who run out of 100-levels that can count towards their degree, but still have to take a few and do a little course-grade shuffling with their advisers, especially those doing double majors with one or more minor.

Then there’s the “you must take these three very specific classes”, which is easy enough to work with. There’s the “you must take four out of these nine specific classes”, which can get a little confusing. And then there’s the dreaded “you must take X number of classes from this topic, but NOT these four very specific classes”, which are always the most fun four classes on the topic. You need to know that what you are taking not only counts towards your degree, but it won’t mess up your other choices.

Look at the Requirements for your Classes

Those pre-requisite things I talked about earlier are pretty damn important. Basically, there are classes that you cannot take until you take a certain class or group of classes below it. For example, you can’t take a second year Abnormal Psychology class until you take pre-requisite classes, which would most likely be the first year Introduction to Psychology classes, and maybe another Psychology class. I had a few classes that you were not allowed to take until you were in a certain year of your program, with the total number of semesters you’ve studied being the pre-requisite.  For most classes after the first year introduction classes, there will be pre-requisites, which will most likely be the first year introduction classes. In some cases, there is even a grade pre-requisite, meaning you can’t take a certain class if you didn’t get at least a B- in a certain other class before it.

Now, there are also anti-requisites out there. If a course has anti-requisites, that means that you can only take that case OR the anti-requisite. So if there are two classes to choose from, and one of them is the pre-requisite for another class, and the two are anti-requisites….. well, that’s something you really need to look out for!

Electives and “Bird Courses”

Your electives are the classes you get to have the most choice with. In my studies, I had to take a certain number of Language classes, a certain number of Science or Computer Science classes, a certain certain number of classes from anything BUT psychology. So that gave me a whole tonne of choices…… and I wasted them. My non-psychology class requirements were filled with classes from my first degree in Criminology, but I didn’t really take advantage of my choices in that first degree. My language classes came from a then-required set of English writing classes. But my sciences were completely wasted on what my friends recommended to me, because they were “easy”. And now I totally regret that.

There is nothing wrong with picking an elective because it seems like an easy class, especially if you have a particularly difficult semester. And there’s nothing wrong with picking easy classes that seem really interesting to you. I had friends take things like Astronomy and Earth Sciences while we were in school, and they loved them. I feel like I wasted my time taking a few computer science courses that were meant for people not already enrolled in computer science, meaning they were extremely easy and basic classes. In one class, I learned what a mouse is, and how to insert a USB stick. And the worst part is, because the class was so damn easy, I barely tried in it, and got a grade that was a passing grade, but not a great grade. Basically, the “Bird Course” that was supposed to help bump up my average actually brought it down.

What do I wish I had taken? I wish I had take something that taught me how to make a website. I wish I had taken a hard science, like biology, so I could’ve taken another Forensic Science class after I took the Intro class. When I had the chance to take any class that was NOT Criminology (or later Psychology) I took a few fun classes, but I feel like I wasted a lot of classes too. I got talked into taking Philosophy classes with friends that I had no interest in. I took classes I had no interest in, just to take classes with friends, or because everyone said they were easy. There is so much more I could have done with those 10 classes, but I didn’t.

So just because all of your friends are taking a class, or they swear that a class is easy don’t sign up for it unless you really want to take it. And remember, just because your friend thinks a class is easy doesn’t mean that you will. My class in Deviant Behaviours was a breeze for me, because I’ve studied things like that for years, so I recommended it to friends as an easy Sociology/Criminology class. Turns out they didn’t find it too easy, just like I didn’t find the  Comparative Politics class they recommended to be very easy. It all depends on your interests and your previous knowledge.

Make a Few Different Schedules

Chances are, the most popular and most needed classes will fill up fast. There is always a chance that the classes you want to take won’t be available when you get the chance to register. You need a backup plan for this.

Also, making up a few different schedules lets you see which classes work best together, time-wise. The kick-ass schedule you made in the beginning may not seem so awesome once you see how much better it could be if you mix a little of schedule two and a bit of schedule three in there.

Look at Your Workload

Classes can be broken down in different ways. At my old school, some are just one long 3-hour lecture, once a week. Others are 90 minutes, twice a week. Some have a lab component that meets once a week. Figure out which ones of those work best for you, and try to take as many of them as you can.

Look at the workload too, if possible. Some classes had multiple research papers, but no final exam, which made for a very busy semester, but less stress come exam time. Others had weekly labs due. Some were a combination of both. And others were nothing more than a midterm or two, and a final exam. If you know you can crank out papers like crazy, by all means take the classes with a lot of papers and no exams. If you prefer to take tests and are best studying under pressure, then stick with the exam-only classes. I always tried to take a combination of the two, so I’d be able to put my full focus into only two or three finals instead of five (once my papers were written).

Check Your Timings

One year in the fall semester, I somehow created the Monday from hell. Three hour lecture from 11:30 – 1:30, volunteer with the advising centre from 2:30-5pm, lecture from 5:30-7pm, and then a three hour lecture from 7-10pm. It was a long-ass day, and I rarely (if ever) made it through the whole day. I got grades in the A-range for the first two classes, because I was always there for them. But that 7-10pm class……. a solid C+. I went maybe half the time. In the whole day I got a one hour break after my first class (which I usually took in the campus cafe with a friend), and another half hour between volunteer and second class. I just couldn’t manage a schedule like that every week. The rest of the week was great though (my second class also ran on Wednesdays, and I had an awesome statistics class on Thursday evenings, plus a bunch of volunteer work), and I did great on everything that was not that 7pm class.  If you know you can’t handle a long day like that, then try your best not to plan one.

Another thing to look at it the amount of time you have between classes. Not only should you have enough time to get between your classes, but you should be able to do so without breaking out into an all-out sprint. My campus was relatively small, so a 10 minute break between two classes was usually good, if I planned well. I couldn’t do a full day with only 10 minutes between each class, though. Remember to factor in your travel time, time to use the bathroom and/or grab a snack, time to talk to your professors if you need to, and time for a damn break. You can’t go full-on for 12 hours a day, every day, without burning out.

And for crying out loud, watch those early morning classes. Yes, morning classes are unavoidable sometimes. But I don’t know how many people I’ve known over the years who tried to take a bunch of morning classes to try and get used to an 8-5 schedule. I’ve even heard some advisers tell students that this is a great idea. Well I went from a 9-5 job into my career as a university student, and this crap doesn’t work. As a career woman, I was up early everyday, showered and ready for work, sitting at my desk with my cup of coffee at 8am from Monday to Friday. I was already on that schedule. School is NOT like that. I couldn’t handle 8am classes if my life depended on it. Because of the unique schedules and lifestyles of students, I’ve always found this advice to be crap. Don’t go signing up for all 8am classes, unless you absolutely have to.

Of course there will always be other things that influence your class choices too. Maybe you need to work around your work schedule. Maybe you want to take classes with a particular professor that you love, or avoid one particular professor that you hate. Maybe you want to take classes with certain classmates, or specialize in a certain aspect of your major, or have no interest in other aspects of your major. There are a bunch of things that can and will influence your choices. All I’m doing here is trying to give you a little help. Good luck with class selection, sunshine!

Scheduling and your Syllabi

Your syllabus is probably the most important document you’ll receive in a class. It’s your schedule, your contact info, your lifeline for the next semester. How many of you know how to actually use it to your advantage though?

I’ll admit, my first year in University, I didn’t pay much attention to the damn things. I’d write down in my day planner when my exams were and when papers were due. Then, I’d stick my pile of syllabi in a folder and throw my day planner in my backpack. I didn’t check it regularly, and the “F” on my transcript is my proof of that (damn you History and Politics of Asian Religions!!!!).

I wised up a bit my second year. I’d check my planner once or twice a week, keep my syllabi with my class notebooks, and thought this was good enough. Actually, this is what most students do. And this is why so many students try to write 15 page research papers in two days, pull all-nighters cramming for exams last-minute, and spend more on coffee and Monster than tuition.

This method lulls you into a false sense of scheduling security. Yes, you have everything you need written down in front of you somewhere. And yes, you actually check what needs to be done the beginning of the week. But what do you have next week? Or a month from now? Can you open your day planner to a random page from this semester and easily figure out which classes will take up the most of your time and resources at a glance?

In my third year, I came up with a system. The first week of classes, I got all of my syllabi in class or on the class websites. Then, I took a whole afternoon to go over them and start scheduling. (Come on, it’s the first week of classes. You can spare a few hours to make the next few months a little easier!) All I needed were some coloured pens, sticky notes, and a day planner.

First, each class was assigned a colour. In the day planner, go through class by class and fill in WHEN each class is. I know you think you’ll remember that you have that Post-Modern Comic Theory class every single Thursday at 1pm. In a month or two, when you’re running on no sleep and ALL the caffeine, though, you may not even remember you’re enrolled in that class, let alone when it is. This also puts it right in front of you, in writing, when you are committed to be there.

Then, for each class, make note of your exams, papers, assignments, labs, and anything else that is a part of your grade. Write down when these things are, and a detail or two about each (like exam rooms and times, paper lengths, etc). This gives you your deadlines.

Now, for each major grade event that you need extra time for (like paper writing or studying for exams), give yourself at least one weeks notice. Flip back one week in your day planner, and make a section for this. Some planners come with a Notes area each week you can use. If you don’t typically have much planned for weekends, you could always use your Sunday space for this. Or, you could use the sticky notes I said to grab. (You can never have enough sticky notes in your life). Write down the day, time, subject, and how much of your grade this is worth. This ensures you have extra notice, so things don’t creep up on you at the last minute.

And now, VERY CAREFULLY read through each syllabus. Each syllabus is your professor’s notes to you on how to get as high a grade as possible. Take a page in your planner and write down each professor’s contact information, office hours, the course you are taking with them, and the course time and place. Then, read their instructions. Some professors will throw in exactly what they expect for assignments, or a grading rubric to help you plan our papers. They also give details about your exams, like if the final exam is cumulative, or only covers materials you learned since the mid-term.  Some will break down exactly what chapters to read each week, what online material to look up, and what they expect to cover in their lectures each week. Make note of ALL of this! You need to know what you’ll have to do before each class, or else you can’t actually do it.

I know this seems like a lot to do all at once. This is the simplified version of what I did for three years, though, and what a lot of friends and colleagues have said have worked best for them. When my schedule got really tight (4-5 classes, two jobs, 6 volunteer positions, fraternity events, family obligations, sleeping, eating…..), I used a day planner, a one-month wall calendar, a 4 month wall planner, a system of 4 separate To-Do lists, and email reminders to keep everything straight. Compared to all of that, this is a walk in the park.

This also helps make your semester run a little more smoothly. Imagine, never checking your schedule on Monday to find out you have a paper due Wednesday that you forgot about; never again forgetting about your Monday midterm until Saturday night; never missing a party because you have to pull an all-nighter to finish an assignment you forgot. Sure, this will take a few hours to get done in one day. But think of all the money you’ll save on energy drinks, caffeine pills, coffee, and everything else you’ve been using to keep you up for those last-minute all-nighters.

Most of all, think of all the stress you can save yourself by giving up one afternoon to write stuff down with pretty coloured pens. You can plan things out like those real grown-ups you see in the movies, with their leather-bound planners and appointment books, snootily telling people “sorry, I need at least 3 weeks notice. I’m already all booked. Are you free in May? I may have an opening in May sometime.” This one afternoon with your day planner could be all it takes to put you on the path to becoming Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada.……. or it could at least free up enough time for you to remember you love that movie, and actually watch it again.

Day Planners, Calendars, and Knowing What the Hell is Going On

Happy Friday everyone!

I’m on day 12 of a 12 day stretch of work, between the two jobs right now. My temp job ends next week, and I’m trying to pick up as many shifts at my awesome other job as I can. That means 50-60 hour weeks, no weekends off, 12 hour days (including my commutes, they’re 13+ hours), and no extra time to waste. Luckily, I’m super organized!

I have a wall calendar I got for $2 at Giant Tiger (came with coupons too!) that I track my work schedule on. I keep it somewhere that the boyfriend can easily see it. I also have the most amazingly awesome purple and gold day planner I take everywhere. In there, I can track my work schedule, To-Do Lists, the boyfriend’s schedule, and any other obligations I have (like my awesome Cousin Brunch tomorrow morning with my siblings, a few cousins, and a giant plate of bacon). When my schedule gets really crazy, I colour-code everything. It’s not as hard as it sounds: black ink for my day job, blue ink for my night job, red ink for social things, green ink for the boyfriend’s schedule, and purple for To-Do Lists and reminders.

On top of that, I always have Post-Its and To-Do Lists for the day and/or week. I’ll make a list when I get to work of all the things I need to get done that day, and start working my way through. And I keep a list of things to get done at home, like laundry or a manicure, and work through them one at a time.

The boyfriend can’t quite grasp this system, though. He can never remember to check the calendar to see if I’m working two jobs that day or just one. I have to constantly text-message him to remind him. And he can never remember to give me his schedule either. To him, all of this planning and scheduling is really not important. If something is that important, he’ll remember it.

But he doesn’t.

For Valentine’s Day, we had planned a nice day together. Costco for lunch, Applebee’s for dinner, and then a little wine and cheese at home where we could just relax together. Everything was set, and we set out to grab the last bit of wine and cheese on Friday night…….. when his sister texted to remind him that her bus was getting in the next night and she would be spending the night at our place. Oh, and he would have to drive out to the bus station to pick her up…… meaning no wine and cheese, and an early dinner for us.  Our night wasn’t totally ruined, but it wasn’t at all like we had planned. And why? Because he didn’t bother putting a reminder about his sister anywhere before we started planning!

This is becoming a regular occurrence with us. I tried to make plans for us to go to his old fraternity’s annual formal, to find out he’ll be out of town that whole weekend. I tried to make plans for us to spend a nice afternoon together running errands and relaxing, to be told he’s working out of town all weekend. It’s frustrating, and causes quite a few fights between us.

There is no one method to keeping your schedule straight. Some people need multiple calendars, day planners, lists, reminders in their phones, and an online calendar. Others just need a simple wall calendar. How you keep things together is up to you. But when you have others who may be impacted by your schedule (roommates, significant others, parents, kids, co-workers, etc…), you may have to step up your planning game just a bit.