Updates: Even MORE Roommates From Hell!

Good morning Sunshine!

It’s 9:30am here. I’m working tonight from 4:15-9:15pm (weird shift, I know. But I take what I can get), and have been up since around 4am. Hooray for coffee! I didn’t get to bed until around 11pm last night, and the new roommates were in the kitchen LOUDLY cooking until around midnight, making it hard to sleep.

That’s right new roommates!

So for those of you new to my scene, here’s a quick recap of my living situation:

My ex-boyfriend and I lived in this house together for years (even after we broke up) with a few friends and a few random people. His parents own the house. He moved out, and Amazingly Awesome Boyfriend moved in over the summer. It’s a 5 bedroom house, with the two of us using up two of those bedrooms (one for our bedroom, and the other for our office/hidey-hole snuggle cave). The landlord/my ex-boyfriend’s father puts ads on Kijiji to rent out the other rooms. For months we only had Downstairs Gal living here (a MA. Social Work student with a husband and kid living a few hours north of here), and she leaves to move back home the middle of next month. Oh, and her husband is staying with us for most of this month, too.

We’ve been showing the house to people for months, and randomly two guys moved in over the weekend. Downstairs Man is only here for two months, and is on contract for his job for that time. Upstairs Man is a student (I think), or a recent grad (possibly), who is studying for a test that he’s taking soon (maybe?) or in like 18 months (no clue). Oh, and his girlfriend is a student, lives nearby, and is over often.

Ok, so that’s a big and sudden adjustment to make (did I mention we didn’t actually KNOW that these guys were moving in? Landlord forgot to pass that message on to us). But I’m used to this…..kinda. I mean, I’ve been living with random people for close to a decade now. I mainly hole-up in my room, hermit at the computer while I job hunt, write, and watch Netflix, and then I go to work. I talk to the roommates when we’re in the same room, like when we are both making dinner or grabbing snacks. But it’s not like I’m poking my nose into their business all the time.

Well, this is the beginning of Day 4 of our new living arrangement here, and people are already close to murder. DG likes to park her car in the middle of our driveway, leaving no room for anyone else. If someone else is parked in the big 4 car driveway, no matter how much room they leave her, she goes and spends 10 minutes trying to parallel park on the street, and then comes up to the house to demand they move their car so she can park. This wasn’t a big problem until UM moved in, and his girlfriend started parking here while she visits.

Now, this is all secondhand information since I was at work when this happened, but AABoyfriend and Awesome Neighourhood Mama both told me pretty much the same version of events:

DG had her car parked in the driveway, and was sitting in it, like she was looking for something she had left in there. UM’s girlfriend showed up and parked behind her. While she was in her parked car, she took off her seatbelt and started gathering up her books and purse and such to come in the house. Suddenly, DG turned on the car, threw it into reverse, and slammed on the gas before quickly hitting the break. She stopped less than an inch from UMG’s front bumper. UMG didn’t even get out of the car. She backed out, went around the corner, and parked in the street. She was so shaken by this woman almost slamming into the front of her car, that she didn’t want to come in the house. In fact, she didn’t come in the house until DG had left. After that, AABoyfriend and his Totally Awesome Co-Worker helped UMG park her car on the far side of the driveway, where DG SHOULD have been parking all this time.

As our Awesome Neighbourhood Mama said: “Shit, home girl needs to learn pull up. If she don’t move her car, I’ll come out and move HER!”

This is not the first, nor will it be the last, incident here involving driving. DG has pissed off the neighbours all around us by parallel parking in front of their driveways. UMG is over daily, too, giving those two plenty of time to clash.

And not all of our problems are limited to the driveway. We are each given one cupboard to use for our food. AAB and I have cupboard connected to each other, since we share all our food. DG is supposed to be sharing a double cupboard with one of the new guys, but seems to be refusing. She insists that she NEEDS the extra space since her husband is living her (rent free) and she needs to cook for him. She refuses to let a paying tenant use the space he’s paying for, so that she can have extra space. So I’ve been cleaning out cupboards, re-arranging spaces, trying to find space for everyone.

And everyone cooks ALL THE DAMN TIME! It doesn’t matter if it’s 4am or 4pm, there is someone in the damn kitchen cooking something. The whole house reeks of curry, cloves, burnt toast, and fish. I have no clue what all these people are cooking, or why anyone would need curried clove fish on burnt toast at 4am, but it’s driving me nuts. The smell is so strong that I got a headache the second I opened the bedroom door this morning. And no one cooks quietly, either. They have to blast their music, clang all the pots and pans, turn on the fan and all the lights, and talk on the phone ALL at the same time. I had no idea one could very loudly make a ham sandwich, but I’ve learned that is entirely possible.

I’m not looking forward to the Thermostat Wars that have already begun heating up (and yes, pun TOTALLY intended). DM thinks the house is too warm…… in the basement, which is usually cold. UM thinks the house is freezing, in the room with the most natural light and heat. One wants the thermostat set at 60, the other at 75. I came to a compromise at 69……… and have to constantly keep checking to make sure no one has touched it. I feel like the dad from all the termostat dad memes. I awoke from a dead sleep the night before last just because the room felt a little too warm and I needed to make sure no one had touched the thermostat (they did, it was at like 75).

The worst part of all of this is that this is reeking havoc on my anxiety. It feels like there are walls around my heart and they’re closing in, while my head just keeps spinning. Between that feeling and all the noise and temperature stuff, I’m barely sleeping. I can feel panic setting in, but the attacks just don’t come. I stocked up on my easy comfort foods (sandwich fixins, soup, bagged salad), and made a cleaning list to work on (to occupy my mind and body a bit), but even thinking of that stuff right now makes me want to vomit. AAB and I are already putting plans in place to start saving up to get out of here, but between both of our consumer debt and my student loans it’s hard in an area where credit checks for shitty apartments are the norm. Thinking about that makes the anxiety worse, but not thinking about it just gives me no way out of here………. yeah, I can see a breakdown coming on before the end of the year.

So Sunshine, I’m going more than a little nuts here. Hopefully this whole hermit-dom thing I’ve been doing will mean more time on here. I keep writing down post ideas, but never get around to them. And with this being NaNoWriMo, I’m usually more motivated to write anyway.

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I Thought You Were Moving……

Well, the totally awesome and amazing boyfriend has officially moved in. We have all of his stuff here, and are slowly unpacking and going through things when we’re not at work. We’re cleaning the place up, he’s been working on the lawn and garden, and my Bowser Kitten has accepted him as a part of this household.

Only problem is, Jeff hasn’t moved out yet. He agreed to move into a friend’s place to manage that house after our friend and his fiance moved away for work. The agreement was he would move out of here and move in there May 1st, with his move being a little stretched out over a few weeks. He rented a big truck, picked up some furniture from his girlfriend’s parents, and took a loveseat from here. And that was it for weeks!

It’s now July. He still hasn’t moved out. Some things have been moved, some things have been packed, but nothing is finished. There is still no floor in his bedroom (it’s covered in garbage and randomness). His kitchen stuff (like food, utensils, and cookware) haven’t been touched yet. There are shoes and encyclopedias and jars of pasta sauce all over the place.

The best part of all of this? Last weekend, Jeff left for work. He’s been posted a few hours north of here for the summer, and doesn’t fully come back until sometime in the end of August. He randomly showed up here this weekend (and scared the collective crap out of AAB and I), and said he was home to move some more.  Instead, he had the girlfriend over for pancakes and sex. And that’s pretty much all he did for his 4 day weekend: things that do not involve pants.

Ok, to be fair, he did move a little bit. Our friend came to town and decided to come and help him out a bit. But it still barely put a dent in things. And all of his stuff is just piling up everywhere and really getting in the way.

AAB and I were supposed to spend the summer cleaning this place out. Instead, we’ve been waiting for Jeff’s mess to leave so we can figure out what needs to be cleaned. The basement is still a disaster here, but we don’t know what is garbage and what belongs to people.

All of this is really taking a toll on me mentally. I want to just be bale to get stuff done, be ready for new tenants in the fall, have a nice clean home I’m not ashamed to have people visit me in. Instead, I have this craptastical cluttered clusterfuck of a house, full of randomness and filth.All I can do is work on little bits of cleaning, and do some planning (measure rooms and furniture, move boxes around, etc). I’m going to go crazy!!!

So Sunshine, if you don’t hear from me for a while, it’s because it’s damn hard to type with a straightjacket on. AAB and mum have both mentioned me having a breakdown soon from all of this, and I’m starting to believe them. But, and mum keeps saying, someday I’ll be able to look back on this and laugh.

Someday better get here pretty damn soon though.

Roommates from Hell: Updates from This Semester

Well it’s the end of the semester, which means the students are all on the move. It’s been a wild semester, with the five of us sharing the house. Just to re-cap some of the strangest drama and experiences from the last few months:

  • I walked into the kitchen multiple times to find AC sitting on the floor with a giant knife that looked more like a small machette, chopping ridiculously large amounts of cabbage.
  • UG used a frying pan! We finally got him to stop just reheating leftovers in the fridge, and he started making his own food to go with the giant pots of rice he was always burning on the stove. Unfortunately, he never cleaned the damn frying pan, instead letting it sit there with leftover fat and oil in it for days at a time. I watched him try to clean it the other day: he put it under running (cold) water, pushed old food bits out with his fingers, and then put it back on the stove.
  • I randonly came home a few times to find my livingroom packed full of people, all guests of DG. I never really minded that he always had people coming over, but our neighbour (who is like the badass granny everyone needs in their life) got pretty damn pissed. His friends were throwing all their food wrappers and garbage on her lawn. She damn near charged into the house once to scream at all the roommates.
  • We finally got a second fridge!
  • The second fridge broke. No one bothered to clear out their rotting food from it. Jeff had to put on his Army-issued gas mask in order to clean it out without puking. After that, I went from getting half a shelf in the fridge (plus sharing the top shelf for large items, the door for all the condiments, and the vegetable crisper) to getting one third of a shelf if I was lucky, and barely enough room on the top shelf to put a carton of milk and bottle of wine.
  • Jeff and I got through out break-up ok. He’s dating a really sweet young girl who goes to the university here. She’s messaged me on Facebook a bunch of times, and we talk whenever she’s over (we actually have a lot of common interests). And I found the most amazingly wonderful man I could ever hope to meet, who I am ridiculously crazy about in a way I’ve never felt about anyone else before.
  • No one besides me mopped. Ever.
  • No one but me vacuumed the common areas. Ever.
  • No one but me cleaned the bathrooms. Ever.
  • No one but me cleaned the laundry room. Ever.
  • My new amazing boyfriend helped me clean up our kitchen quite a bit, since no one else ever helped. He was the only person to do any real deep cleaning around here besides me. And he doesn’t even live here.

So it’s been an interesting semester here. AC finished her in-class work last week, and went home to be with her husband and son while she finished her final papers. She’s set to come back here in the fall though, and left her treadmill behind to claim her space.

UG just left this house for the last time a few minutes ago. He came to my room to say goodbye (and to see the cat, of course). He had a friend helping him move (a friend who would not stop singing loudly all afternoon while I tried to work), and somehow wound up with multiple bags of garbage needing to be taken out. I think that, of all the randoms we’ve had come through this house in the years I’ve been here, he’s been my favourite. He was mostly respectful, kept to himself, and never bothered me. True, he never did clean anything, and he left boogers on the shower walls. But he was a hell of a lot better than some of the trash I’ve seen come through here.

DG is leaving here by the end of this month. He’s already packed up his BBQ and moved it to a friend’s place.He has so much stuff, though, it’s been spilling out into the common areas since the day he moved in. I have no clue how he’s going to pack it all and move it out of here!

And then there’s Jeff. He’s agreed to become the house manager for a friend who had to move away for work, but didn’t want to sell his income property. So, at the end of this month, he’s moving out too. We made a run to the liquor store to pick up some boxes (I work there, so I know where all the best ones are hidden for moving), and he’s going to start packing up his stuff. Soon. He swears it. Problem is, between all his clothes, his books, his army gear, and the random stuff he’s collected over the years living here…….. well, he has a lot of freakin stuff!  It’s going to take some supreme organizational skills to pull this off…….. thankfully, he still has me here.

Yeppers Sunshine, it looks like I’m not going anywhere just yet. They’ve cut my hours quite a bit at work the last few months, so I’ve eaten through most of my savings just to keep a roof over my head (and those savings were meant for 1st and last on a new roof over my head). I’m trying to find a second job, and have had no luck there. So once again, everyone is moving on with their lives but me. While everyone moves forward, I’m stuck in limbo for god knows how long.  And it’s really starting to get to me.

I think the worst part of all this is, Jeff has been managing this house for years. The cable and internet are in his name, he’s always handled the lawn maintenance (I’m allergic to freshly cut grass and break out in hives), and he’s been in charge of getting new stuff when things break (like right now, we have to get new recycling bins). There are 8 days left in this month, and I have no clue what is happening with any of that.  I don’t know if I have to get internet for the entire house, or if I’m responsible for going out and buying things like recycling bins and garbage cans for the house. Luckily, my amazingly awesome boyfriend has offered to come over and cut the lawn for me. But the rest is just…… in limbo.

I hope none of you are in a state of limbo right now, Sunshine. If you are, drop me a line or leave a comment. We can be miserable together.

Roommates from Hell: Being mindful of other’s space

As you know, we recently bought a second fridge…… which promptly died a slow, stinky death. I posted a picture of my roommate/ex-boyfriend cleaning the damn thing out , wearing a gas mask. The stench was so bad, I threw up TWICE, and I was a good 6-8 feet away from it when he opened the doors.

So, this leaves us with one fridge for five people, yet again. We have done this before, by using a few ground rule. It’s not an easy thing to do (five random people sharing one fridge is a lot different than a family of five using one fridge, we found out!), but it can be done……..

……. if everyone would just be mindful of the spaces we have to share in this damn house.

We had a pretty good system going with our fridge before. Of the five of us, DG doesn’t cook much, and barely keeps any food here in the kitchen. He throws some chicken in the freezer sometimes, or brings home leftovers from potlucks. So this SHOULD make sharing the fridge a little easier.

The fridge was divided logically: condiments in the door (write your name on them if you want); tall stuff and drinks on the top shelf; veggies in the crisper; Jeff and I share the bottom shelf; UG and AC can share the middle shelf. Each person has their own cupboard for canned goods and spices and cereal. There’s a big cupboard for bulk stuff. And I set up counter space for stuff like bread and bags of chips.

Pretty damn easy, eh? I mean, it’s not rocket surgery or anything.

Well last night, I was curled up on the couch with my wine, a bowl of popcorn, and my ridiculously amazing boyfriend. We were all settled in, watching a bit of old-school SVU before bed (like, Munch wasn’t even totally grey yet). I got up to go to the fridge and grab a little more wine…….

…… and the fucking pita shells attacked. 6 bags of them!  I just got up and counted them again.

What the hell are 6 bags of pita shells doing in the fridge? Well, they’re chilling with all the crap UG has that is taking up one entire fucking shelf in the fridge! In addition to his bags of pita shells (which I never see him eating, btw), there’s a loaf of bread, a carton of eggs with an expiration date of October 2015, a bunch of random stuff in tupperware, and the mystery can. Mystery can looks almost like an open can of tuna or chicken, but it’s in a zip lock bag and has been in there since before Christmas.

So I tried shoving the pita-lanche back into the fridge without spilling my wine (which I needed so so so much more of after this), I took a good look at the dumb-fuckery abounding in my fridge.

You see, UG has taken over the entire middle shelf, mostly with his bread and random stuff he lets rot for months at a time while he orders pizza. AC, therefore, has no room on her shelf for anything. Her solution appears to be to cram as much random shit into the fridge, in any place she damn well feels like. She already took over Jeff’s half of our shelf, and has been cramming me further and further into the back corner of mine. She has tupperware on the top shelf, milk in the door, and packs of tortilla shells fall all over the place.

The worst part, though, is the way things got moved around.

Instead of putting her milk jug on the top shelf, where we all agreed it belongs, she put it in the door of the fridge where the condiments are. To do this, she crammed random condiments all over the place in the fridge.

That jar of garlic with the leaky lid? Thrown on its side on top of my eggs. The Franks RedHot sauce? Crammed into the veggie crisper, OPEN and on its side! My Sunny D for Sunday morning mimosas? Dumped down the sink to make room for more damn pita shells!

You see, this is not how you share spaces with roommates, especially when said space is full of sharp knives.

We divide up things like storage space for a reason: so we don’t piss off the other people around us. And no, it’s not an easy thing to do. Living like this, I can’t buy things in bulk, or make one giant grocery shopping trip. And neither can any of the other people who FREAKING AGREED TO THIS ARRANGEMENT!!!

You see, this pisses me off to no end right now. On top of the ever growing list of things no one but me does around here (like cleaning, or using a broom), I now have to deal with my food getting used, getting tossed, and getting crammed into the far recesses of the fridge.

Right now, I am down to half a dozen eggs, some butter (if anyone left some for me after they used it without asking yet again), a little bit of bacon, and cheese slices. Add to the the box of wine, the milk I share with Jeff, and assorted condiments I’ve split with roommates over the last few months…….. and I can make an omelette. That’s it.

So tonight, when I should have been relaxing in the kitchen, making a stir fry (no room to thaw my meat, and my veggies got all used up somehow), I’ll be grabbing random stuff out of the freezer that has been shoved into the back that I’ve been able to dig out. So, old shrimp, old dumplings, and brocolli it is then.

So, Sunshine, do you have any roommates who do things like this to you? Maybe instead of takin gover the fridge, they use up every last bit of counter space in the bathroom. Or they take over ALL the storage closets, leaving you to cram all of your belongings into your already crowded room. Leave me a comment, let me know I’m not the only one out there dealing with this stuff!

Roommates From Hell: Cleaning the damn fridge

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Remember how I told you one of our fridges broke here? Well we have one roommate who still INSISTED on putting her food in there…… and then forgetting about it. The smell was so bad, I could barely use the working fridge next to it. And the mold was horrible!

And this is what it came to. This us the ex-boyfriend/roommate I’ve told you about, cleaning up this mess. And yes, that is a gas mask. The smell from the rotting Tupperware (the mild was eating through the plastic!) was so bad, by the time he finished he could smell it even with that contraption on!

So, Sunshine, don’t let dumbassery do this to you. Got a broken fridge? Fix it or toss it, and for God’s sake empty the damn thing put!