Well Sunshine, this weekend was a busy one. The Amazingly Awesome Boyfriend’s cousin got married, so we got a hotel room out in the county and spent the weekend out there. He had to take care of the booking and transportation on Friday (we don’t have a car). I worked Friday night and had to come home to feed the Bowser Kitten afterwards, so we didn’t get in until around 11pm. Saturday was all wedding stuff, and Sunday was supposed to be a nice day out with his mom at the greenhouse so I could hug baby goats. But of course, life happens.
Without getting into too much detail, things are a little strained as far as AAB’s dad is concerned. It’s an enormous amount of stress on AAB and on his mother when we all get together. When we all get together, we can’t just make plans. Things always get majorly derailed and any plans we make get completely thrown out the window. Like this past Sunday, we had planned to leave the hotel around 11am, go his AAB’s aunt’s place to walk the dog for her, stop by his dad’s place really quick, and then head out to the Giant Greenhouse of Awesomeness for the rest of the day. Instead, AAB’s dad started calling us around 10am, asking us if he could stop by the hotel. Then he started asking if he could stop by AAB’s aunt’s place. Later, while we were at the aunt’s place, he just randomly showed up and started arguing with AAB’s mom and just wouldn’t leave. We had planned to leave his place around 1:30pm. Instead, he stuck around the aunt’s place until a little after 3pm, giving us only a few hours at the greenhouse. I didn’t get to go to the arcade OR the candy store!
We got home Sunday night, made some snacks, and curled up in front of the tv with Bowser Kitten. AAB headed to bed a bit early, exhausted from the weekend. Even though he took Friday and Saturday off from work, he woke up early yesterday morning and called in sick from work. We have a tonne of stuff to catch up on around the house (why no one ever fucking cleans around here is a whole other post) but decided to put it off. I did a few little things, he did some laundry. Instead of getting things done. AAB spent pretty much the entire day on his computer playing Super Mario World. Every time Bowser was on the screen, he’d say “Look, Bowser Kitten, it’s a big scary Bowser!”.
And that is perfectly cool.
After an emotionally draining and physically long and tiring weekend, AAB was just done. He needed a day to just do nothing. He wasn’t sick, he was totally able to go to work. But he needed a day to process everything that had happened over the weekend, needed to recover from the lack of sleep, and needed time to clear out his mind. If he had gone to work yesterday, his head would’ve still been filled with all the weekend’s happenings. He would’ve had a miserable day, which would lead to a miserable evening while I was at work, which would lead to a miserable night once I got home. So he took a day to just have time to himself and do nothing. He needed to process everything and then needed to just blank out his mind. And because he took that extra day to himself, he let himself go blank, he’s having a great day today. He is having a good day at work, is happy and productive. He’s already planning to make a ham and potatoes for dinner and cuddling the Bowser Kitten for a bit while he plays video games for him. He’s having a better day today because he took care of himself yesterday.
I know we can’t all just call in sick when we’re super stressed. With the shifts I’m getting now, I can’t afford to take a day off when it’s not scheduled. Hell, I sometimes even have to come in on my days off to pick up more hours! But I try to find a way to take time for me before or after work. Sunday night, after AAB went to bed, I put on some music, curled up on the couch with Bowser Kitten, and read my newest Bathroom Reader and updated my day planner for about an hour. Today, I’m catching up on the I’m Sorry Day Podcast (RyDoon + Brandon Calvillo + Marlon Webb = pure magic) and getting some cleaning done. Nothing major, just scrubbing counters and sweeping. Maybe I’ll clean out the fridge, or do some Christmas shopping and craft planning (I like to start super early). This is how I take time for me. Instead of taking a whole day, I’ll take an hour or two a day.
Figure out what calms and centers you, how you can take time for you. Do something nice for yourself. As the very wise FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper once said “Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men’s store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.”